Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Puke, puke, puke!

I am gonna hurl and it's not anything thing to do with "symptoms", I still don't really have any of those! This has to do with Tori Spelling on conceiving her 2nd child. See below...

-Spelling reveals to OK! that little Stella was an accident, but unlike Jamie Lynn, hers was a happy accident.
"I was on one pill and wasn't feeling well, so I went off of it," says Tori. "Two days later, the doctor put me on another, and on that one day, we conceived. It was meant to be!"
And, as for having other children, Spelling says yes.
"We like making babies," Tori tells the mag. "Gosh, I always said I'd be happy having one of each, and I still maintain that. But I wouldn't mind having three." -

Now don't you wanna hurl too? You know you do.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Beta #3- and apology for all the gloat!

Beta # 3 this morning. It was great to realize that this just might be the LAST time I have to submit to Vampira at the RE's office. Just got the call with a number, it is up to 3,984. I'd say that's a pretty stong number, huh? Ultrasound is set for July 3rd at 2:00 p.m. At least that means I don't have to sit through the holiday weekend without a clue, but I do have to make it the week and a half between now and then!

At any rate, I want to apologize for the extreme amount of gloating that seems to be taking over this blog since the pee test! The post after post of extreme elation and "YAY, FLOWERS AND RAINBOWS AND BABY DUST!" is the kind of crap that would normally make my cynical, bitter, infertile ass quit reading someone's blog due to being grossed out over it all (not to mention the nasty green jealousy monster). I would generally click on the back button and only turn back in moments of morbid curiosity if I encountered such a tirade. Cause that's just how much of a biotch I am! Judge me if you must, at least I admit it.

That being said, I appreciate all your comments from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for coming back and saying nice things even if I am all "FLOWERS AND RAINBOWS AND BABY DUST!". You guys ROCK.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Beta #2

Beta #2 is in= 1,247!!!! Holy crap, now I am starting to wonder about the twin thing. It would be a blessing, don't get me wrong, but wow. That would be alot to handle. Beta #3 is Monday and then ultrasound on 7/3 should answer that question.

This is starting to seem more real but I still have that cynical voice in the back of my mind telling me something horrendous may just be right around the next corner. I wonder if that feeling will ever actually completely go away.

Anyway, at least it is Friday and I have the weekend to let this sink in a little more!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The number is IN!

Here it is folks, drumroll please....... Beta HCG= 350.2! I don't even know if that is "good"!?!?!

I go back Friday for beta #2 to see how the numbers are progressing. I guess I will just be on pins and needles until then. I will have a 3rd beta next week with U/S somewhere around July 4th. God bless America! Hehehe.

Thank you all so much for your comments and cheering me on. It has been so helpful and heartening to know that gals who "get" this have been reading along and wishing me well!

Waiting for beta #

Well, I went in this morning and Vampira has had her way with me, now I await "the call". For those of you who want to see the pic of the pee stick, I managed to snap a picture or two while DH looked at me sideways last night, I will upload one ASAP. He might think it's a little weird that a bunch of "strangers" want to see my pee stick, but he is just gonna have to get over it, HA!

Anyway, for now I shall attempt to get some work down while crossing everything cross-able that the beta is a good strong numero!

Monday, June 16, 2008


I have no pic because DH still does not approve of what I have done, so I am laying low, hehehe. I peed on a stick and it was UNABASHEDLY, UNQUESTIONNABLY POSITIVE! That's right, POSITIVE, as in just as dark as the control line, oh my holy crap, POSITIVE. I am in shock, but it feels reeeeal good. I will check back in tomorrow as soon as beta #'s are in! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh and for the record, DH is THRILLED as well, he is just oh so "by the book". The nurse lady said not to poas so he didn't think I should. Take THAT, nurse lady! :-P


OK, I made it, I went ALL weekend without testing! Aren't you all proud of me? Well, ya shouldn't be, I am testing tonight damnit! Beta tomorrow, I must be prepared for whatever is going to come my way. I am such a planner (read "control freak") and this whole IF thing has taken so much of that away from me. I figure the least I can do is be in control of when I find out the answer!

In the mean time, please go over and give some congrats to Jen at and Samantha at . (Sorry, I haven't yet figured out how to do the hyperlink thinggy without showing the web addies.) Both have received some long awaited fantastic news! I hope it's catchy girls! :-)

Friday, June 13, 2008

My Mother, the Psycho Woman

I have been meaning to post about this but just haven't had a chance. Since it is quiet here at work today I suppose I can take a little detour from actual work to do so. I had a rather odd conversation with my Mother the very day of my transfer. The poor woman is so deluded she actually asked me who I was going to "tell" and when. You know, because this IVF stuff is so freaking guaranteed and everything. I attempted to explain to her that we really only have about a 50-60% chance of this crap working, at BEST, so I thought the conversation was a little premature.

Yet she persisted. I finally explained that IF it DID actually work it would be a number of months before I would tell ANYONE, other than her, the BFF and DH. She was astonished that I would keep such a thing quiet for so long. WHAT THE F*CK??? She KNOWS I have been through a m/c, where I had already told everyone and their mothers and had to then take it back. She knows I have waited THREE LONG YEARS to get this far since that point. Why in the ever loving universe would I tell ANYONE I didn't deem to be on a "need to know" basis before I was "clear" from the danger zone??? This is coming from a woman who has also been through a m/c or two herself!

She is completely, certifiably insane. Most agregious it seemed, was that I did not intend to tell my brother either until I was pretty sure things were going ok. How is that any of her business? And why was this argument necessary over an extremely hypothetical pregnancy??? The inappropriateness of the entire line of questioning was just a bit too much!

It reminded me of when she "just adopt"-ed me a few months back. She cannot accept that no matter how much money you throw at this, nothing, not a DAMN thing, is guaranteed. And talking about it like a bunch of naive ingrates doesn't change a thing.

Ok, done ranting now- let's hope this is something I actually have to give some consideration to in the near future. Happy weekend all!

How Exciting! Thank you Nancy! :-)

Yesterday when I got home from work I got my very first braces bunch card!!! Thank you so much Nancy! Nancy from sent me a card. :-)

That was just what I needed as I was thinking about how I was about to go into the weekend from hell, what with the last few days of the 2ww and no work to distract me for 2 days, blah! And Father's Day to boot. My Father has no idea what we have been going through and is likely to say something really obnoxious about grand children when we see him this weekend, so I was really dreading it. Nancy- your card provided a much needed dose of cheer and is most appreciated! Thanks again!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Survey says...

Progesterone results in- 67.78

I am told this is good and that they are really only looking for anything over 20. Since I am shooting up with PIO AND doing Crinone glop (for lack of a better term) I guess it almost had to be over 20 huh?

I was also told not to panic if I have spotting between now and beta because that is very common. Uh hello, as if I could NOT panic if that happened???


Ooooh, I feel all grown up now with that post title. Now if I just had something to say... I went in this morning for my progesterone blood check, still one week from beta with really no symptoms to report. Of course I have been google super freak all morning trying to find out what my levels "should" be, you know, just so I can be prepared to freak out.

We had a pretty uneventful weekend other than a lil visit to the ER on Sunday, yes, that would be Emergency Room (since we are all used to meaning quite another thing when we say ER in IF-land!). Nothing serious, just enough to cramp our style. DH broke his big toe real good on Sunday. Now he not only has a very bad back, he is on crutches with a foot boot thinggy. Really great when living in a 2 story house with a woman who is supposed to be "taking it easy" huh? He did have impeccable timing, dontcha think? I can't be too hard on him since he really feels terrible about the whole thing. He was told it will take 4-6 weeks to heal. Kinda puts the 2ww in perspective I guess! Damn him though, that means this coming weekend is going to be bo-ring!

Beta is Tuesday, I am tempted to poas Sunday just so I am prepared for what is coming my way, good or bad. And I have to admit, I have had a few fleeting cheesy ass thoughts involving running out to buy DH a Father's Day card in some hopeless approximation of being one of those naive little people who get pregnant without a team of medical specialists in the room.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Into the deep freeze!

I am happy to report that we have 2 blasts that are making it to freeze! At least that means that if this cycle is a bust we have SOMETHING to try before we have to face the possibility of another fresh cycle. They are both grade 2 expanding blasts, one a BA/ 2+, the other a BB/ 2. I don't guess that's too shabby starting from a total of 10 eggs!

On a non-IF note, I just got my annual evaluation at work and my boss is recommending a 6% increase!!! Holy ass monkeys batman! I am not used to this much good news, the universe is starting to make me nervous, hehe.

Happy weekend!

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Ready, set, wait!

We had the transfer today and wound up putting back one early blast, grade AA as well as one that was juuuust on the verge of becoming a blast but too early to be graded as such. We had chosen to do elective single embryo transfer because of concerns about multiples (due to my high blood pressure) but they would only do that if there were two that were "perfect". The one they could grade was called "perfect" but the other they just could not tell yet.

They are watching the few that are remaining to see if we have anything suitable for freezing. They will call tomorrow and let me know. The ART nurse had me thinking it looked pretty favorable that we would be freezing but today the RE (who is pretty no nonsense, which I like) said it would not be unusual to have nothing to freeze given that we only got a total of ten eggs. So, I guess we shall find out tomorrow.

Anyway, two it is. Now the painful wait begins. I have moments of thinking this just HAS to work- I mean how could it not- to moments of feeling very pessimistic about the whole thing. I guess all there is to do is wait and see. I have a blood test on Tuesday to make sure my progesterone looks good and then the big one- beta- on Tuesday the 17th. At least with the 5 day transfer I only have to wait 12 days instead of a WHOLE two weeks. Of course I can almost promise I will poas a couple of days before beta!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Keep on Rockin' in the Petri Dish!

I just got the update from the ART nurse. Of the 8 that fertilized 7 are grade 1!!!!!! The 8th one is a grade 2, but a good looking grade 2. They vary in the amount of cells, with the one in the lead right now at grade 1, 6 cell. Right now they just have no idea which one(s) are going to "win" the race, so I am looking at a day 5 transfer! I am shocked at all this good news. I am used to the universe taking a proverbial dump on me with all things fertility related. I am not sure what to do with actual good news (*looking up*- other shoe???).

She will call me tomorrow with another update and a time for Thursdays transfer. Wow, day 5 transfer. The only reason this is bad is because I go back to work from my "vacation" on Wednesday! Therefore, I am going to go back to work for one day and then call in sick the next day. Not such a great career move. Oh well, I have to do what I have to do I suppose.

Also, I wanted to mention that the hubster is the best. shot. giver. ever. I had my first PIO injection last night and it didn't hurt a bit. In fact I barely felt it! Either he is really good or I have a magic arse.

E.R. and Fert. Report

Sorry for not updating sooner, I had my retrieval on Saturday morning and it went really well I think. It was nowhere near as terrifying as I had built it up to be in my head. Plus they gave me some sedation and took me in the O.R. on the stretcher, so by the time they took me in there I was pretty high! They got a total of ten eggs, which was more than I knew there were follicles so that was good news. That doesn't seem as high of a number as alot of others report but the doctor seemed pleased with that amount.

I was sore but not too bad with the Tylenol 3 they gave me. Yesterday I didn't even take any and I was walking around the mall shopping! Then we went for Chicago style pizza as my treat for being such a trooper, hehe. They called me yesterday to report that of the 10 retrieved, 9 were mature and they ICSI'd all 9. That didn't surprise me since, even counting that last minute follie, I only knew of 9. Here is the best part- of the 9 mature- EIGHT fertilized.

Wow folks, that seems like a great fertilization rate to me! Now I am just waiting for this morning's call with #'s of cells, how many continued to develop, etc. At that point she will tell me if I will have a day 3 transfer tomorrow or if we are taking it to day 5. I promise not to wait three days to update this time!